


The Immortal who wants death

by Sleepy_Penelope



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Blood, Character Turned Into Vampire, Cutting, Depressed Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Depression, Eren Loves Levi, Eventual Smut, Gore, Heavy Angst, Human Eren Yeager, Immortality, Levi Loves Eren, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Triggers, Vampire Erwin Smith, Vampire Hange Zoë, Vampire Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-09 00:11:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8868490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepy_Penelope/pseuds/Sleepy_Penelope
Summary: This whole fanfiction is full of TRIGGERS. So if you are easily triggered, dont read. Its about a Vampire who fells in love with a human and starts living a little more instead of just breathing.Ereri fanfiction with an unusual twist on Vampires.





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so Im saying it again. If you are easily triggered, dont read. 
> 
> Be kind to me that this is my first long fanfiction. 
> 
> And I dont have a beta reader so if you see any mistakes or dont know what I mean, tell me. 
> 
> The first chapter is very short cause its really just an intro and I hope the chapters gets longer later on.

We cannot die. We are immortals. Still I try to die. Why? Because the life is meaningless and stupid, it has no value to me anymore. 

So first I tried the hanging, didn’t help. It made me pass out and woke up and I passed out over and over again. So I tried drowning. Same thing happened there, except I threw up a bunch of nasty water. Jumping off a building, just broken bones, healed in a week. 

Then I tried all the myths to see if it was true to our kind. 

Silver. I shot myself with a regular bullet first but I only got a nasty hole that didn’t heal for two weeks. Then a silver bullet was put to my head. I passed out and woke up with a terrible migraine. Never trying that shit again, it was too much fuss. 

Cross. It doesn’t burn or anything. It’s just a religious symbol. Holy water, feels just like water. No luck there. 

A wooden stake to my heart did nothing but giving me splinters. 

Sunlight does hurt our eyes a bit but we get used to it so we rarely notice it. 

Now I tried to stop drinking blood, wondering what will happen. I thought maybe bloodlust and I would start to attack every human I saw, but nope. I only grew weaker and weaker each day. One day I couldn’t move, it was almost like I was paralyzed. Tied to the bed. I laid in bed in days, maybe weeks before I managed to move out of it. I started crawling towards my kitchen since my legs wouldn’t work properly. 

So in the end I found noting that would kill me. I optioned for the nest best than death, self-harm. 

It calms me down and keeps me grounded. I do it with a silver knife since silver hurts us more than regular steel. 

I never go out unless it’s absolutely necessary. I don’t have family or friends, all of them passed away long time ago, then Hanji and Erwin fucking Smith came brawling in my life. 

I tried pushing them out, but they are holding hard on my miserable and fucked up life. So I let them be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originaled planned that how Levi meet Hanji chapter coming first but I cant remember what I had planned so Levi meets Erwin comes first .. 
> 
> enjoy !  
> also note : English is not my first language so Im sorry for any mistakes and I also welcome any corrections :3

How I met Erwin is a strange story. But I remember it so clearly.

I was having a bad day, worse than the usually, but I wanted my damn tea and the grocery shopping for the week done. Since Hanji was busy at work I had to do it alone. I was perfectly capable of going alone, but being in this state of health, I would prefer if Hanji could come with me.

Unfortunately I had to go alone.

I walked into the familiar store and started finding my tea. My mood got a little better when I held it in my hand. Now, rest of the groceries, and I could go home.  
After a while I was almost done when I suddenly felt trapped. Suddenly it was to many people around me. And I only needed the damn rice package and I was done for the day.  
Suddenly my anxiety flew up and I was having hard time breathing. I slid down too the floor and tried to calm himself. Then the voices became.

What should I do? I was alone. Hanji couldn’t help me now. I’m a fucking failure. Were people laughing at me?

I was trapped and alone. So alone, and in deep thought of hell. Suddenly my train of thoughts was stopped. Someone was talking to me. I opened my eyes and saw fancy dress shoes and white dress pants, but didn’t dare too look further up. The man was sitting down, facing me. Telling me to breath with him. When it seemed that I had regained my normal breathing again, I looked up on the man. He had blond hair and blue calculating eyes. I saw his eyes flicker to my arm before he stood up, stretching out a hand for me to take. I looked down on my arm and saw blood.

Of course.

I had started scratching my arm to calm myself down, but I never noticed the familiar burn. It was becoming too familiar apparently. Taking the large mans hand; I stood up on shaky legs. With a powerful voice he told me his name.

-I’m Erwin.

-Levi.

-You got all the groceries you need?

I shook my head pointing to the rice. He grabbed it and put in my cart. Not very capable to hold a steady conversation now, I began to fidget. Then I felt something heavy was draped over me and it smelled of rich men perfume. In the darkness of the jacket I felt a lot safer. Nobody could see me. I stopped moving.

-I need more stuff before we can leave, can you managed to wait for me?

I nodded under the heavy coat. I was wondering why he had tossed it over me, but I never asked.

He grabbed my cart and became walking and since I had no other choices, I followed after.  
We walked around for nothing more than ten minutes and we were done. By the cashier, I was ready to take out my wallet and pay when suddenly Erwin was by my face.

-Don’t worry; I just need my wallet in my coat. I will pay for your stuff too.

I was starting to protest when he gave me a stern look. I shut my mouth right after.

He paid and got out of the store with me in tow. Since he had my stuff I had no other choice then to follow him to his car. It was no surprised when I saw it was one of the expensive types. He motioned for me to get in and I did. The man did after all pay for my groceries. And even helped me through my panic attack.

-Your address?

I mumbled it out and he drove. Since I lived closed by it wasn’t that much of an awkward ride and soon after we was outside. I was going to get out and get my groceries when he suddenly was on the passenger side.

When the hell did he get out of the car? And so fast too ?

He opened the door for me and closed it when I stood on the ground.

-Thank you and I can pay you back, you really didn’t need to…

-Levi.

I shut up. He grabbed my arm carefully and looked at it.

-We need to clean this. Maybe sew. So lead the way.

I had forgot about it. My arm. I felt after some hints of pain, nothing. It kinda felt numb. I poked it.

-Stop poking it and lets go inside.

I looked at him. Wondering if he didn’t notice the long unnatural scars I had made with my nails? Why was he doing all this? Why hasn’t he comment on it?

With these thoughts in my head I walked into the apartment complex and Erwin wasn’t far behind. Safe inside my apartment I breathed out. Then I remember Erwin was there and I tensed.

-Where’s the bathroom?

I pointed at the hallway, hoping he would understand. Before he stalked in that direction, I made a beeline for the kitchen.

With groceries put away and a fresh new cup of tea, I sat down. Erwin came some minutes after with a medical kit. He sat down beside me and took of the coat I had forgotten was on me. He carefully grabbed my wounded arm and cleaned it. I hadn’t scratched so deep so no sewing was needed.

He went to put the medical kit back to it rightfully place and I sat there dumbfounded. Why was he doing this? Who is he? What do he want?

Since I was deep in thought I didn’t notice he had come back to the kitchen. He was in the process of opening my second fridge, the one who’s kind of hidden for humans who come to visit me, not that it has been someone, except now. In a rush of panic I knocked down my teacup and it spilled over the table.

-DON’T OPEN THAT.

It was too late. He had a blood bag in his hands.  
What should I do? Should I kill him? Try to explain myself? How the hell can you explain that you have a whole fridge of blood?

-Levi.

I snapped and looked at him. Panic surging through me, and the feel of adrenaline taking over.

-Calm down. I’m the same kind as you.

Air left me. HE was the same kind as me? Why hadn’t I smelled it on him? Was it because of the perfume? No..it couldn’t be, cause humans cant detect us by smell only we could detect each other.

A mug was placed in front of me, with blood inside. The red liquid teased me. Drink me Drink me.

-Drink up. I can see that you haven’t been good with taking your daily doses, plus you lose more when you start rampaging your arm.

I looked at him and tossed it in me. Drinking it all up he nodded and seemed pleased.

-Good. Then I will leave and let you be alone. Is that okay?

I nodded and followed him with my eyes.

-If it is something, don’t be afraid to call me.

He slid his business card beside my “blood” cup. I looked at it briefly before I turned around. He was out of the door and ready to shut it when I asked.

-Why?

He didn’t turned around when he answered, but I could finally smell his true colors.

-Because my sister killed herself.

The only thing that could be heard was the soft click of a closing door.

 

 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

That’s how Hanji found me, when she came home from work. Me, sitting by the kitchen table with tea dripping from the table, and a hint of rich men’s perfume lingering in the air. She screamed and bolted towards me.

-Leviiiiiiii!!! What happened? Are you okay?

I focused her in and looked at her. Finally coming back to the present.

-Yea. I need a shower.

She looked confused at me, but didn’t make a comment when I stalked to the bathroom. Erwin’s smell was in there too. I took a long needed warm shower and walked out to find the kitchen spotless. She had clearly cleaned up, but the only thing that didn’t belong there was the business card. Hanji herself was sitting by the tabled with a cup of coffee.

-Mind telling me what happened today?

She pushed a warm teacup to me and I sat down, happily I could finally drink it and calm down. It was only Hanji. I was safe.

-I went to the grocer store.

She nodded and the silence stretched on, she knew not to push. We calmly sipped our hot beverages and I continued telling her rest of the events that had taken place that day. When I was done I felt a little lighter, now that I have gotten that of my chest.

-So…this Erwin guy is a vampire, like us, and he gave your number?

-Yes.

She hummed and fished out her phone from her pants. She stretched over me and took the business card and dialed the number.

-Hanji, what the fuck are you doing?

-Husj my little munchin. I’m on the phone.

I grimaced at her nickname to me, but I didn’t say anything. I just continued to drink my tea.

-Hello, is this Erwin Smith?

A pause. I looked at her and saw that maniac smile. Godammit what was she planning?

-Ah lovely. I need to talk to you, regards of Levi Ackerman, but you probably just know him as Levi. He is a short grumpy man with a resting bitch face.

With that I tuned her out, she would eventually tell me later. With the final drop gone I disappeared into the living room, not bothering to wash the cup right away.  
I plopped down on the couch and let my eyes close. The day’s event had been exhausting and while Hanji was talking to a mister rich mans perfume aka Erwin smith, I would take a nap.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh. Im not sure if I like how I descriped Eren in Levis point of view but anyways I have no idea how to maek it different. So I hope you enjoy it !! 
> 
> And if you see any errors please tell me :3

Hanji didn’t tell me a damn thing about the phone conversation with Erwin…. fucking four-eyes. 

I sighted as I put my book down. It wasn’t a point to read when your thoughts were all over the place. 

I was currently lying on our couch in the living room, the one where I had gone to take a nap a few days ago while four-eyes was on the phone. 

Pinching my nose I sat up and stared out the window. It was actually quite nice weather. Well if you of course like grey skies and no sun. Also no rain cause it’s just uncomfortable to get wet for no fucking reason. 

I was pondering on if I should take a walk, just a small one. I felt restless. With a sight I stood up and started walking towards the window. With rain in sight it was few people outside, just as I like it. 

To go or not to go? That was indeed the big question for the day. 

I took a deep breath and walked fast towards our front door. I putted my feet into my shoes and was out in an instant. As a vampire we couldn’t much feel the temperature. A big convenient, I think. But, then again, I hated being an immortal. 

Pushing the last door out of my apartment complex, I took a big breath and stepped outside. 

The wind came; it welcomed me with fresh air. This, is what I needed to do to clear my head. 

I walked to the left, out of the city. We were living not far away from a big park where almost all of the hints of the city had left. It was comfortable there, not so many people and it was enough space if someone needed it. 

As I strolled down the road I could smell the rain in the air. That meant, that not many people were going to be in the park, maybe no one. I smiled at that thought. But I also made a mental note to hurry home before it started. No point on getting a cold. 

Ha! Me, getting a damn cold. That was nothing, but it was indeed annoying for a couple hours. 

You see, even though we are immortals and all that bullshit, we still get sick but it usually goes away after some hours and maybe a day if its like a sickness a human would lay in bed for a week for.   
I shivered at that thought. Hanji had gotten some nasty rare sickness that lasted three days, three fucking days! That was a hard time for both of us. I shivered.

Shaking my head I focused more on the trees and benches that started to fill my vision. Looking around I saw that it indeed was only some few people here, but it seemed that they was on the way home. 

I strolled to my favorite bench and sat down. Breathing in the fresh air once more I closed my eyes. Letting my body relax. It was quite peaceful sitting here, with no human noises around and just listening to the trees, wind and silence. 

I may have dosed off a little cause the next thing I notice is a certain smell. Human. Not far away either. I slowly open my eyes and then I see him. It was like sunshine shined on me, and I had to close them and open them again. After blinking I can see that he’s concentration on something in his lap. A sketchbook. He’s drawing something. I let my eyes focus more on the boy and I gasp. 

He’s beautiful, no; no words can describe the pure, raw beauty I’m looking at. He’s tan, but not that nasty tan that women takes, to look good in the winter, no he’s natural honey tanned and his fingers are long and slender. He’s holding tightly onto a pencil. His eyebrows are pinched, like he’s not getting something right. His hair looks like he just woke up, its not messy and greasy, but it looks soft and natural. It’s a chocolate color and it fits him good. His clothes are like a college student would wear, thorn and ripped jeans, grey shirt and a black hoddie over. His sneakers look they have seen their last day, thorn and dirty, but it fits his style. Even though I would never let him wander inside my apartment with those shoes on. 

My vision suddenly gets ripped away from the boy when I feel a drop on me, and then another. 

Fuck! It’s started raining. 

I mentally curse at myself, and hurriedly starts walking towards the gate. It rains even more now, and its just getting started. I could use my inhuman speed, but its still people outside and with the rain it’s getting slippery. I slip my hand into my pockets and walks faster. I mentally feel the chill seeping into me when I suddenly feel a warm energy beside me.

Also did the rain stop?

I stop and look to the side to see where this warm energy is coming from. I’m met with a torso in my face. I mentally curse at myself, again, for my small height. I look up, and I’m met with one honey colored and one emerald green eyes. 

It’s the boy. 

I suddenly forget to breath. 

-Um Hi, I’m Eren. I thought you needed shelter from the rain while you walked. 

He scratches his neck while I finally notice the umbrella in his other hand. 

I regain my composure again and quietly say thanks, but its fine. 

He laughs nervously and smiles at me. He takes my breath again. Not only is his voice like an angel, but also his laughter is like a ray of sunshine is pouring into you and gives your life back. 

I sudden get the urge to protect this boy. 

I shake my head and excuse myself and then I start running. As fast as human possible. I never look back to see the shocked expression of his. I never stop running until I open my apartment door and leans on it. Hanji pokes her head out of the kitchen and look shocked at me. 

-What’s up with you? Where have you been? No note, no message. Nothing. I thought you left me, again. 

Her sad voice hits me and I look up at her sad face. A sharp pain shows up in my heart. 

-Sorry. I went for a walk. Needed to clear my head. 

After I took of my shoes, I walk towards my bathroom. 

-I need a shower. 

As I hear a sight behind me, I close the door and strips. The wounds on my arms are almost healed and they don’t sting in the shower anymore. 

I let the hot water scold over me and I finally breathes out. 

Finished, I know I need to say a properly apology to Hanji before I head to bed. Yes, we can sleep, but its not much needed. Its only for pleasure or rest if we want. I definitely want and need one. To just shut down for a couple of hours, but four-eyes first. 

She sits in the kitchen with a steaming hot cup of tea, on the other side stands another one and an extra cup sits next to it, my blood cup. I sights and sits down. 

-You usually don’t go out alone, what changed your mind today? 

-I needed to clear my head. 

-Ah. 

Silence. Not comfortable, but tick, pressing silence. I sights.

-Hanji, I’m sorry. 

-I know. I’m… I’m just afraid you will do what you did while we lived in…

-Stop. Just stop. 

We both sigh and take a sip of our teas. I take a deep breath. 

-I’m really sorry for what I did back then, but you should know I never would do that again. I don’t want to hurt you more than I did. 

-You promise? 

-I promise. 

She smiles and takes my hand. We continue to enjoy our tea in a more comfortable silence. I let her hold my hand. It’s at least what I can do, after leaving without telling her. 

The rain thunder on the window and it’s relaxing. We both finish our teas and head to our rooms. She hugs me tight before letting go and closing her bedroom door. 

I let a little smile grace my lips, and close my own door. In bed, ready to let sleep carry me away, I see the boy with the face of sunshine and two mismatching eyes. Then I fall into the void.

**Author's Note:**

> More people will come than those I have tagged, and maybe also background ships. I will tag more as longer we go into this fanfiction.


End file.
